Saturday, February 25, 2012

to live deliberately..?

      Haven’t written in free flow in a long time. Too long. Last month on a trip to St Helen’s, I gave a teaching topic assignment on Poetry. I did the usual Jill mode, quoting Jack Kerouac (my fall back) and hoping the words marinated with the crew as they shivered and shuffled in ski boots from kitchen camp stoves to semi-warm snow shelters for a hunkered down night on top of a mountain.  I gave them all my thoughts on how good writing feels. I said, “ Try to give yourself a few minutes a night before you sleep, to jot out anything from pencil to paper (Rite in the Rain waterproof notebooks, that is).  You know what I did that night? I put my wet liner booties into my wet sleeping bag, pressed a hand warmer under my sweater next to my abdomen, pulled my wool hat over matted and dreadlocked hair, and slept.  hyprocrite. ..


  I have been feeling full throttle,  The days are good.  Knowlege and excitement is being poured into my head and heart.  School is an inspiring blend of upheaval, self- doubt, insane achievemnet, personal growth, new vocabulary (I never thought I would use the word “bomber" to actually describe a cam placement on a rock wall), and most of all, Love.  I’m in love with the coming spring, the present powder, new musical medicine, a loyal and patient black lab, and a pair of soft brown eyes, perfect smiling lips, heavy heart, and magnetic energy belonging to a certain fellow....


  There is so much uncertainty to the days. I live in an apartment that I rarely organize (or see). I drink coffee that my over-active brain does not require.  My 21 year old Jeep  needs the attention and carresses of an elderly woman, and I can’t seem to make time to ease her aching joints. I miss my family. My sister wonders when I will make it home to Minnesota to see my beautiful, perfect and only-young-this-very-moment baby nephew, Duncan Thomas.

But there is hope. There is sunshine in Oregon. There’s music, kisses, snowboarding-through-tree-days, camping trips to plan, letters to write, skype dates, dog runs through new trails, and the possibility that it will work out... maybe even be wonderful

Thank you.

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